Chapter 22

Driving in to the gates of the park, John remembered his vehicle from the first time he had ever seen the canyon, a 1970 Volkswagen Bus that he had purchased for the sum of 1,000 dollars, at the time almost all of the money he had in the world. The Van had a table, a stove, and a bed that pulled out, and at the time John felt like the luckiest guy in the world. He could go anywhere and do anything, and when he first saw the Grand Canyon it filled him with a sense that anything was possible.

     Now he had returned, and as he wound down towards the canyon he felt a surge of excitement. He had had one of the few truly transcendent moments of his life at the bottom of the canyon, and now he was going to see if he could find some of this magic again.

     He parked his car and walked up to the world famous El Tovar hotel, where he had once worked as a maître de so long ago. It too looked the same, and John was once again hit with an odd Deja vu that the past and the present were somehow intersecting again. He was feeling something that he hadn’t expected. Hope.

     As it happened, he wandered into the restaurant he used to work at right between breakfast and lunch, and he heard the sounds of classical music playing in the lonely restaurant as he took a look around. As he did he had a visceral reaction to the music and found himself thinking about John Steinbeck and Cannery Row, specifically a passage where the protagonist of the story “Doc” laments about a lost love after listening to Monteverdi's Hor ch' el Ciel e la Terra. The book had filled John with his own kind of longing, and shortly after he read it for the first time he took to the road, wanting to find his own Cannery Row and a love that was his to lose. He had wound up exactly where he was standing at this very moment, 22-years old and broken hearted.

      And here he was again, except this time 40 years old and broken hearted. What had he learned? As the music filled up his senses he thought of Shakespeare’s sonnet, “That time of year thou mayst in me behold” and in particular the line, “which makes thy love more strong, To love that well which thou must leave ere long.” Shakespeare had it right. Love me now, because I’m not gonna be here forever. This seemed particularly apparent to John at this very moment. He felt like two separate incarnations of himself somehow existing in the same place and time. The feeling was at once both disconcerting and comforting.

“Can I help you?” A young man in a familiar red coat asked

“Uh, sorry, I was jut looking around for a second,” John replied. “I used to work here. A long time ago. "

“Really,” the young man replied. “Let me ask you something then. Is there life after working at The Grand Canyon? I feel like I’m 22 going on 40. Tell me there is something else.”

John smiled as he thought about the question. “I’ll tell you, it’s a funny thing man, but the very thing you want to get away from is the same thing that brings me here today. I wanted to remember a time and a place where my life seemed to have a lot less worries and a lot more freedom. Now that you mention it though, I did hate working for these assholes though.”

“My name is Tim,” the kid said as he laughed and extended his hand. “I dropped out of school at UCLA to work up here if you can believe that. Trying to see the world a little bit and have a few experiences outside of the classroom. At least that is what I keep telling myself.  So far I seem to be working a lot. I promised myself I would start writing my book when I came out here, but so far it’s going slow. So what advice do you have for me? You’ve been where I’ve been, right?

“First of all my name is John,” he said as he shook his hand.“ And to be honest with you, I think you’re right where you need to be. You know what John Lennon said about this dilemma you’re experiencing, right? He said Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. Sometimes the most significant moments of our lives are happening right when we think we have hit a wall, or are feeling totally stuck. Let me give you my card, I’m a writer myself, and maybe I can help you if you’re feeling stuck.”

“I’ll tell you what man, I appreciate that very much. Somehow I feel like I know you, but I don’t remember ever meeting you. You know what Kurt Vonnegut said about these kinds of things? He said when you meet people who make you feel like this you might be a member of the same Karass. So, yea, I’ll take your card, but maybe you can do me a favor as well. I’m getting off in a couple of hours. What would you say to having a beer over at the Bright Angel at about noon?”

“I’d say that sounds perfect,” John said as he smiled and walked away. Thinking of he did about significant moments and old memories.