"The thing is Amy, and since you asked specifically if that has been my experience, I’ll tell you something important that I have learned. Love is everything in life. The pursuit of riches, fame, adventure, whatever, are all secondary reflections of a person’s pursuit of love. I know that because I am living it. My wife died a few weeks ago and I can tell you without equivocation that she was the most powerful force in my life, and there really hasn’t been a close second. I’ve spent my life as a writer looking for the Rosebud moment in people’s lives, but now I’m rethinking all of that."
“Well John, I have to tell you, having recently come out of a very bad relationship, that sounds both inspirational as well as kind of unreal. Personally I’ve come to a place where I’ve kind of given up on the idea of romantic love. It just seems like it ends up hurting too much. I must admit though, my research has taken me in another direction, and talking to you may shed even more light on this question. Are you saying you believe in soulmates or something like that?”
“I never did Amy, believe me. I spent the first 38 years of my life as cynical and fearful about love as any person I have ever met. I just kind of stopped thinking anything like that could happen to me. Then, on one strange day not unlike many others in my life, everything changed. I can’t really explain it except that it was like being struck by an emotional thunderbolt and from the first day I met her, everything was different.”
“Well tell me about the thunderbolt. Do you think this emotional connection is about being drawn to the missing parts of yourself? Or are you suggesting it is something bigger than that? Some kind of cosmic and mystical connection? I’m a journalist and I want to understand. Understand why it is so many truly great people talk about love like this, while others like me seem to flounder around in the dark. What, in your experience is the answer?”
“I guess a part of it goes back to what the Buddhists say, “when the student is ready the teacher appears.” That is my psychologist answer anyway. I know for me personally I had failed at love so many times that I wasn’t even really looking anymore, so I’m not sure that totally explains it. I think you’re partially right when you talk about it as being drawn to missing parts of yourself, only I would take that one step further. It’s like being drawn to something that you didn’t even know was missing and therefore had no point of comparison. The closest I can come to explaining it is feeling totally understood by someone. Understood in a way that goes beyond words and conversation.”
“That does sound nice, I admit, but I’m still not convinced. Maybe I’ll know it when I see it someday. But in the meantime I’m going to have another drink. Will you be joining me?"
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