Chapter 31

     After spending a couple of hours talking and resting, John and his new friend Elaine decided they would walk the rest of the way together. They were both exhausted and tired, but decided that they could try and keep each other going. At the moment, they were all each other had.

     As he was walking John thought about a scene from a movie he enjoyed called Me, and you, and everyone we know. In this scene a man and a woman are walking down a street, and the woman discusses how this little walk is a lot like their lives. They are halfway through the block, and they can see the rest of their lives clearly in front of them. He thought about this as it related to his own life. He had a climb, nearly straight uphill, to finish his current walk. Yet still, he wasn’t alone.

     Although it was nice having someone to walk with, they both were feeling too tired to speak, and John decided to listen to some music in pursuit of both energy as well as inspiration. The first song that played on his iPod was “We may never pass this way again” by Seals & Croft. It was a song that had brought him a great deal of peace at various times in his life, and he thought about the words and how they related to his current incarnation. He had always wanted to return to the Grand Canyon, and planned on taking his wife and daughter here when they found the time.

Except they had never found the time.

He stopped for a moment and took a look down the canyon. It really was an incredible specimen, and he felt a sense of gratitude wash over him for the first time in a while. He was at one of the most amazing places on earth, and he had just walked ten miles in a single day. Whatever his grief and pain and loss, he was alive and breathing and still had the opportunity to see things like this. It wasn’t all bad.

     He returned to the trail and took in his new friend Elaine. She was an attractive woman, very well dressed, and had golden blond hair tied into a ponytail. He knew based on her clothing and jewelry that she was a woman of means, and he wondered what was ahead for her. Would she simply tolerate her husband’s cheating and live out the rest of her time in a kind of resigned acceptance? Did she have the strength to change her life and find happiness? If they were in therapy he would explore these questions, but for now she was just a follower traveler in need of some support.

     He looked up and saw they had about another mile to walk, and he felt a sense of pride about what he had accomplished today. He could feel the soreness in his body, but also had proved to himself that his body was still viable with the right amount of determination. He didn’t feel any urge to drink right now, and knew that was a good thing. The exercise had been a healthy dose of coping.

As they continued to walk, he felt Elaine grab his hand and look up at him.

“Do you mind,” she asked in a soft voice. “I know I just met you and I know it’s probably not quite right for either of us right now, but I want to remember what it’s like to feel protected by someone. I’m sorry if that sounds needy, but it’s how I feel right now.”

John didn’t mind.