Chapter 30

Chapter 29

      As he began his ascent up the canyon, he took one last look back towards his home for the last couple of days. It had been a powerful experience for him after all, and he felt happy that he had done it. Perhaps his instincts were not as badly damaged as he had imagined.

     He took a long look forward and understood that he had 13 long miles to walk, nearly all of it straight up. Strangely though, he looked forward to the exercise and pushing his body to the limit. He had been abusing his body with alcohol for the last couple of weeks, and the hike ahead of him felt like a kind of penance.

      At the three mile mark he stopped for some water and for a short rest. He found an interesting rock formation on the brink of a cliff, and set his pack down and climbed on top of it. From here he could see how far he had come, and also see how far he had to go. It was a breathtaking view, and he stretched his arms out and took in the view of the canyon below. A part of him wondered what it would be like to fly. Simply hurl himself off the cliff and for one glorious moment fly like a bird to his end. A bigger part of him wanted to simply enjoy the incredible beauty of what was in front of him. He took it as a good sign.

     He walked a few more miles until he hit the halfway point. It had been a rigorous climb, and he found he was breathing very heavily when he finally made it to the rest stop. Despite his resolve and positive attitude, his body was simply not in the shape to do this kind of climb. He needed a break, some water, and a significant rest before he began the climb again.

      He found some shade at the rest stop and sat down, noticing as he did a well put together woman wearing a number of pieces of jewelry sitting by herself trying to dry her eyes. He could see that she had been crying. Somehow his instincts led him to speak.

“Uh, hello. I’m so sorry to interrupt and I understand completely if you want to be alone, but I wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt or anything like that?”

“Am I hurt? Is that what you asked me,’ she replied. “Yes I think hurt is exactly the word to describe what I am. My husband has been sleeping with other women, I’m getting old, and I’ve walked miles into the middle of a canyon on some silly search to find some answers. My feet are sore, I have nothing but these sandals, and I don’t think I can walk another step. So yes. You could say I was hurt.’

John was taken aback by her directness, but also appreciated her honesty. He’d asked a question and she had given him an answer. He realized he was no longer simply making small talk here.

“Well I’m a counselor, and I’m supposed to know what to say right now, but truthfully I’m a little hurt as well. My wife and daughter died and I also wandered down here looking for answers. And right now I don’t think I can take another step myself. I can offer you a granola bar however.”

The woman looked up at John through her tears and a faint smile spread across her face.

“A granola bar ha? I suppose you’re gonna want 300 bucks for it too? That’s what my shrink charges me.”

And with that they both laughed together. They shared a granola bar and then another, and after that talked for a while about nothing in particular. It felt good to simply be with another human being for a moment, and he allowed himself to enjoy the closeness.

It was the closest thing he’d done to a therapy session in a month.